I hate putting it that way! “Female Issues”! However, this is a page relating to problems we commonly have that can be extremely difficult to discuss and deal with when it is psycho sexual rather than medical .
INABILITY TO ORGASM and SEX ANXIETY
Many women find it difficult and sometimes impossible to reach orgasm with a partner. This is a very common problem and from a physiological of point of view many women don’t reach orgasm from penetration purely. Many drugs can affect the serotonin levels and make it very difficult for many women (and men) so before you take this any further, check your medication for anything which may affect you.
Commonly women can reach orgasm on their own but with a partner it just never seems to happen and maybe other thoughts are entering into your mind during sex or you may be feeling self conscious in some way. The ability to relax is the main key to being able to fully enjoy sexual relations to their conclusion and it is not always that easy. There is something which I call “sex anxiety” which is the build up to sex and the loss of sex drive which is when you start to have negative feelings about engaging in sex before you even have it. Then, once you are under-way - you can actually sometimes enjoy but its the initial build up can be in fact almost a likened to anxiety.
Depending on previous experiences which maybe have not been great, past history of abuse of trauma or a feeling of self consciousness this can affect how you are feeling with your partner and your ability to relax.
I have worked with many women who have similar difficulties for a vast number of different reasons. Again, working with self esteem, better self perception and relaxation techniques can greatly enhance that time with your partner and can lead to orgasm during sex.
Simple and straight forward NLP techniques and hypnosis generally help these problems a great deal so that you can enjoy the experience and feel at ease and let go into the feeling rather than worrying about how he sees you or how you are responding.
Relationship problems can also affect how we feel about our partners and sometimes situations can take time to progress from.
This is where our techniques really come into their own as I can help to move on from something in the past really holding you back that you wish you would forget, whether it is with your present partner or from a past situation.
Time Line therapy can remove those unwarranted negative emotions and let you be “in the moment ” when you really want to be and not having flashbacks or sudden negative emotional rushes.
Unresolved issues with a partner can also affect us greatly with regards to sex and again we can work with this confidentially to let you be able to be touched and touch them in return
RELAXATION AND SEXUAL PAIN
Now then, this is occasionally a tricky issue. The reason being that clients have been told that the pain they are having is due to psychological rather than physiological problems and then after extensive work and further medical consultations finally found it was a physical problem after all.
If you are completely satisfied that the problem of pain during sex is psychological then yes I can assist. Frequently due to tension and therefore muscular tension, this can make sex an uncomfortable experience and result in avoidance and cause further relationship issues.
As well as having a background as a sports therapist and dealing with the physical I accompany this with psychological work to help relax you, particularly during foreplay so that you begin to focus on the “feel” and excitement and therefore allow the signals from the brain to the body to let you relax, reduce sex anxiety and then relieve the intra muscular tension and less or no pain.
The problem with the pain issue is that the man has to regain confidence again in the fact he is not going to hurt you or cause you discomfort and this can also be a consideration for the male partner as well as for you so was also discuss steps you can take to help that situation as well.
This is a complex problem which can greatly affect both parties confidence so care is taken to provide practical and fun steps to allow you to fully relax and have great sex without the fear of pain or anxiety.
See also loss of sex drive